Written By Archie Fucque
In this week’s Pulse Report the streets are buzzing about G-Unit provoking another SoundScan battle with Kanye West, former Dipset associates exiting and exposing the crew, Diddy unleashing a vintage swagger jack and LL Cool J's hip-hop state-of-the-union .
1. Rematch. Fresh off their album flop imposed sabbatical G-Unit is back to their usual troublesome ways. At a recent concert in Albany, New York 50 Cent and crew targeted paparazzi terrorist Kanye West. Not only making light of Ye’s recent clash with the paps, but Fif openly mocked Kanye’s single “Love Lockdown.” [Watch here]
Curtis was even gracious enough to let fans know he forgives them for choosing Kanye over him in their now legendary SoundScan showdown.
“See what happen. You stop f*cking with me look what happened. You see that? That’s what you stuck with. See how you treat me….I’m going to accept your apology for that last one.”
And while Curtis is willing to let bygones be bygones, Tony Yayo wants to spark up a rematch between the two heavyweights. In an interview with MTV, Yayo said the crew wouldn’t mind seeing a rematch of the classic clash.
“That'll be fun. In my eyes, I don't think Kanye will never be bigger than Fif, no matter what his numbers do."
Meanwhile The Unit’s usually low-key manager Sha Money XXL scolded ousted member Young Buck for his perceived dishonesty. Via his blog, Sha Money wrote:
“Half these rappers out here are fronting, I got more cribs then ya’ll broke ass fronting n*ggas, stop fronting and leave these people and fans with better things to talk about then your lies… And to Buck look around you, how many n*ggas is responsible for what you got? I can play with cash while you play pretend friends with The Lame. Stop looking for heads to feel sorry for you, you ate very well but threw up after every meal. Don’t try to make me look like I didn’t do my part. Let’s see what the new guy does.”
In case you missed it, that “The Lame” guy Sha is referring to is The Game. You knew no G-Unit post could not be complete without a Game or Buck mention. More importantly what makes Yayo think that 50 is in anyway capable of taking on Kanye in another sales battle. The way I see it no one in G-Unit should be talking sales battles. In fact the word sales should not be uttered. Before you even think about battling Kanye West, think about how you can beat The Game first.
2. Dip-ping Out. Just when you thought the worst was over in the much-publicized Dipset demise, more news of lies, unhappiness, and departures come your way. First, long time Dipset member Hell Rell talked to RealtalkNY about why he left the Harlem collective. Apparently he wasn’t feeling the love anymore and he didn’t what to get involved in any of the in-house fighting. [Watch here]
“Hell Rell has Hell Rell in his best interest and I can only be around and show love to the n*ggas that got me in they best interest. This is hip-hop, there is no friends in this sh*t."
Unfortunately Hell Rell’s departure didn’t raise hell like the interview former Dipset manager Big Joe did with the UK’s JumpoffTV. Joe angrily responded to Juelz Santana’s claim that he was the shady manager who swindled UK promoters for $70,000. When those UK cats came to collect Juelz nearly had to re-pay it in blood, but he willingly pointed the finger at Joe as the bad guy. Naturally, Joe being a guy who doesn’t “talk a lot” told his version and then some. [Watch Here]
SMH. That Big Joe interview is a classic case of dry snitching gone amok. When will this Dipset saga end? With Hell Rell gone, you’ve got to wonder about JR Writer. Is he next to Dip-out? That was a rhetorical question. Please don’t answer that.
3. Swagger King. Leave it to Diddy to bring some originality and flavor to T.I.’s smash single “Swagger Like Us.” The master of the remix flipped the song title to something more his liking, “Swagger Like Puff,” while chronicling his various swaggeriffic accolades. And thanks to the Diddy Blog we're able to see the hilarious visual that accompanies the song.
Of course it takes a huge amount of swag to pull this off [Watch Here]
And you might want to make sure you have a drivers license and well armed entourage to pull this off: [Watch here]
LOL. That Diddy is one charismatic dude. What other hip-hop star can make goofy look cool? But now I’m confused. Are we supposed to start calling him Puff again? Honestly I’m not a real fan of calling any grown man, Puff.
4. Bridging The Gap. In the midst of hip-hop’ generation war, rap vet LL Cool J not looking to choose sides. Instead Uncle L is spreading love to the young rappers that came after him. In an interview with Sirius Radio, LL had nothing but praises for T.I., Young Jeezy, Lil’ Wayne, Kanye West, Nas, and 50 Cent. [Watch Here]
I guess he doesn’t consider Jay-Z apart of this generation. What do you think? Another thing that also caught my eye was this quote from LL.
“It’s the LL Cool J state of hip-hop address. I am the president of hip-hop. 24 years, I am a senior member of the Senate, the congress and all that.”
Hmm? Interesting. This actually got me to thinking about what a hip-hop government would look like. Of course I would let LL Cool J have his seat on the Senate, along with all the other senior members who I think should all pull the plug on their careers. In this particular case I’m all for a “do nothing” Senate.
Please rise and turn in your mic when I call your name:
Now on to the Executive Branch:
President: Kanye West – This was an easy pick. He’s from Chicago (It’s the place to be from if you’re running for president). He’ll get the white vote, and he hates George Bush.
Vice President: Diddy – You want a VP that’s strong on foreign affairs. Our guy Diddy is strong on both foreign (Sienna Miler) and domestic (Cassie) affairs.
Secretary of Defense: 50 Cent- Another no brainer. You want someone who knows the art of war and protect himself or herself with the best security money can buy.
Secretary of State: Karrine “Superhead” Steffens – A little wrinkle here. Gotta make sure we have a female voice in the cabinet. More importantly, I’m sure she’ll get the heads of state to come to the table in a crisis.
Attorney General: T.I. – Don’t know if he’s well versed in Constitutional law, but he sure does know how to beat the hell out of a case.
Secretary Of Treasury: Jay-Z- Perfect job for the black Warren Buffett.
5. Funky Situation. The now infamous BET interview with R. Kelly was supposed to clear the air about his scandalous sex trial past, but all it did was get the R&B crooner aired out by radio/TV personality Funkmaster Flex. [Watch here]
”I and other people, me and other DJs, other people on TV were all to blame for this dude feeling comfortable enough to go on TV and do an interview talking about ya know, he likes 19 year-olds…No one should have their daughters or kids around you.”
I gotta agree with Flex on many of his points. We are to blame for R. Kelly’s air of invincibility. But what are die-hard R. Kelly fans (myself included) to do about listening to his music? I must admit after the not guilty verdict I put a self-imposed ban on myself, but that was quickly lifted when Mrs Fucque came home with a surprise from Victoria Secret. Maybe someone needs to start an “R. Kelly Anonymous”.
Alright ya’ll gotta run. Going to go check out the new T.I. Hit me up at email@example.com for a healthy back and forth. Let’s talk 50 Cent vs Kanye Round 2. Also, what would you’re hip-hop government look like?[Nominate your favorite artists, bloggers or even yourself for an Online Hip-Hop Award Here]